Receiving the Gift of Feedback

A woman wearing glasses and a suit is smiling in front of a flag.

Sim Loh is a family partnership coordinator at Children’s Village, a nationally-accredited Keystone 4 STARS early learning and school-age enrichment program in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, serving about 350 children. She supports children and families, including non-English speaking families of immigrant status, by ensuring equitable access to education, health, employment, and legal information and resources on a day-to-day basis. She is a member of the Children First Racial Equity Early Childhood Education Provider Council, a community member representative of Philadelphia School District Multilingual Advisory Council, and a board member of Historic Philadelphia.


Sim explains, “I ensure families know their rights and educate them on ways to speak up for themselves and request for interpretation/translation services. I share families’ stories and experiences with legislators and decision-makers so that their needs are understood. Attending Leadership Connections will help me strengthen and grow my skills in all domains by interacting with and hearing from experienced leaders in different positions. With newly acquired skills, I seek to learn about the systems level while paying close attention to the accessibility and barriers of different systems and resources and their impacts on young children and their families.”

This document may be printed, photocopied, and disseminated freely with attribution. All content is the property of the McCormick Center for Early Childhood Leadership.

I’m a terrible speller—there, I’ve said it. Spelling and, to some extent, paying attention to the nuances of grammar are not my greatest strengths, but I do feel like I’m a pretty effective writer. Moreover, I enjoy transforming thoughts, stories, and even statistics, into writing. As a bad speller who loves to write, I’m faced with several options: 


  1. I can write and know that left un-proofed some readers will de-value my work, 
  2. I can write and ask for feedback knowing that the process may make me feel vulnerable, but ultimately help me produce a higher quality product, or 
  3. I can chose not to write and thus, not worry about reactions or feedback.


The second option is my go-to. This is in large part because I’ve learned to value the process of giving and receiving feedback. When I first started working at the McCormick Center, I quickly learned that all publications went through a rigorous review process. Nothing, it seemed, was distributed unless it was subject to, at the very least, two sets of eyes. At first, this process was intimidating. As a poor speller, I was not thrilled at the idea of having my work edited by my new colleagues. At the same time, when I was given the work of others to edit, I was a little apprehensive about how they would receive the feedback. Those fears quickly faded as I began to see how edits helped elevate the technical quality of my work and how feedback and suggestions increased my knowledge and skills. Now the process of receiving feedback feels like a collaborative effort to raise quality, and I take pride in being part of a team that looks at feedback as a norm of continuous improvement. 


Feedback may come in the form of edits to your work, a conversation after you’ve been observed, a performance appraisal, a meeting with a mentor, receiving assessment scores from formal tools (such as the Program Administration Scale, Business Administration Scale for Family Child Care, the Classroom Assessment Scoring System, or the Early Child Environment Ratings Scales), or achieving a quality rating in your state’s QRIS. All of these are examples of evaluations, and–more importantly–the opportunity to transform feedback into quality improvement efforts. 


When we challenge ourselves to remove our fear or dislike of feedback and begin to view it as a supportive process that fosters growth, it becomes a true gift. 


Below are some tips for reframing negative responses to feedback: 


  • Be mindful of your immediate reaction and try not to shut down. It makes sense that your first response may be an emotional one that leaves you feeling defensive. Recognize your reaction and remind yourself to stay present and in the moment. If you shut down and become defensive straight out of the gate, you’ve put the brakes on your own growth. 
  • Listen with the intent to learn. Rather than focusing on mistakes or negatives, focus on things you can change now or do differently to improve your practices in the future. 
  • Ask questions for clarity. ‘Not sure what is meant by certain feedback or what it has to do with improving quality? Ask! This is especially true when you’re unclear or disagree with the feedback being given. Rather than agreeing resentfully to make changes you don’t believe in, take time to recognize the rationale behind the feedback. You may still disagree, but at least you’ll fully understand it. 
  • Remember the purpose of feedback. Feedback isn’t about shaming; it’s about growing, learning, and improving.

Robyn Kelton is a Training and Technical Assistance Specialist at the McCormick Center for Early Childhood Leadership. In this role she serves as a national reliability anchor and trainer for both the Business Administration Scale for Family Child Care (BAS) and Program Administration Scale (PAS). She holds a BA in Psychology and an MA in Organizational Psychology.

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My Bookshelf: Titles That Inspire, Inform, and Influence

By Barb Volpe • July 14, 2025
by barb volpe This summer, as I dove into Mindset : The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck, I found myself reflecting on the books that have shaped how I think, lead, coach, and grow—not just as a professional, but as a person. These books have informed how I show up in my work: how I support others, design and facilitate professional learning, and continue to learn myself. So, I thought I’d share what’s on my shelf—the books I’ve read and returned to, and the ones I’m looking forward to next. Maybe one will speak to you, too. Books I’ve Read (or Reread) This Year (These have sparked recent insights or support current work.) The PD book: 7 Habits that Transform Professional Development by Elena Aguilar and Lori Cohen . I love a book that is a perfect blend of the “why” and “how to” for designing transformational professional development. I am a big fan of Elena Aguilar’s books, and this is one of my favorites. Lose the Lecture: Engaging Approaches to Early Childhood Professional Learning by Teresa A. Byington . Another great book with lots of tips and strategies to engage early childhood adult learners. This book is great for those who facilitate (coaches, mentors, early childhood directors, and trainers). It gave me new tools for designing interactive sessions. Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath . A go-to resource on leading change, packed with memorable stories and practical strategies. The ideas of “directing the rider, motivating the elephant, and shaping the path” stuck with me. The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier . This book is approachable, concise, and surprisingly powerful—it offers a way to ask key questions for coaching in your regular routine. Onward: Cultivating the Emotional Resilience in Educators by Elena Aguilar . I found myself returning to this throughout the year. It’s not just a book—it’s a companion through the ups and downs of working in education. Books I Return to Again and Again (These books live close by. They are grounding, uplifting, and continue to offer new insights no matter how many times I read them.) Learning to Listen, Learning to Teach: The Power of Dialogue in Educating Adults by Jane Vella . Every time I revisit this book, I’m reminded of the power of listening and true dialogue in adult learning. A must-read for anyone who facilitates learning. Circle of the Nine Muses: A Storytelling Field Guide for Innovators and Meaning Makers by David Hutchens . A playful and powerful guide to using storytelling in professional settings. I return to it when I want to bring more heart and creativity into facilitation. Inspiring Peak Performance: Competence, Commitment, and Collaboration by Paula Jorde Bloom, Ann Hentschel, and Jill Bella . An excellent guide for leaders aiming to build strong teams. It offers frameworks that feel grounded in real early childhood contexts. Reflecting in Communities of Practice: A Workbook for Early Childhood Educators by Deb Curtis, Debbie Lebo, Wendy C.M. Cividanes, Margie Carter . A hands-on, thoughtful workbook that helps teams go deeper together. The reflection prompts are gold for peer learning teams and coaching. The Art of Awareness: How Observation Can Transform Your Teaching by Deb Curtis and Margie Carter . Reading this feels like an invitation to slow down and truly see children. A beautiful reminder of why observation matters. Leading with Heart and Soul by Toni Christie . A heartfelt book on leadership that blends personal reflection with professional purpose. It speaks to the soul of early childhood leadership. I simply love this book; it brings me back to my “why”. Graceful Leadership in Early Childhood Education by Ann McClain Terrell . This book models leadership that is dignified, values-driven, and relationship-based. It’s like a wise mentor in book form. The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander . This book helps me reframe challenges and step into possibility. It’s equal parts philosophical and practical—a favorite when I need inspiration. Books Waiting for Me (On my “to-be-read” list, each is chosen with curiosity and intention. I’m looking forward to what they will teach me!) Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact by Dan Heath and Chip Heath Joy, Inc.: How We Built a Workplace People Love by Richard Sheridan Small Teaching: Everyday Lessons from the Science of Learning by James M. Lang Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor Respect: An Exploration by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot Exit: The Endings That Set Us Free by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot These books have informed how I lead, learn, and reflect. I share this list not as a prescription, but as an invitation. I’d love to hear what’s on your bookshelf! Here are a few questions to get you thinking: What is a book that shaped your thinking or affirmed your values? Which titles do you return to again and again—and why? What kind of learning or growth are you seeking right now? Is there a book that might support that journey? What book would you recommend to someone stepping into leadership for the first time? Is there a story or quote from a book that has stayed with you? Each time I finish a good book, I feel like something in me has shifted—even if just a little. The stories, ideas, and questions stay with me and often show up in unexpected ways in my work and life. As Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. said, “The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.” I share this list not because I have all the answers, but because these books have helped stretch my thinking—and maybe one or two of them will do the same for you.
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