Leading with Heart: Why Empathy is the Key to Stronger Early Childhood Leadership

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t always get the spotlight in leadership discussions—empathy. Often overlooked and categorized as a “soft skill,” empathy is rarely listed as a top leadership quality, yet it plays a crucial role in success. If you are a center director, coach, or leader in early childhood education, your role goes beyond keeping schedules on track and ensuring compliance with licensing and various funding streams –it’s about people. Your teachers, children, and their families rely on you. Empathy is the glue that holds it all together.

Looking at key leadership frameworks and research, we see that empathy isn’t just a complementary trait; it’s a fundamental strength that can transform your leadership effectiveness. Effective early childhood leadership requires the integration of administrative leadership, pedagogical leadership, and leadership essentials. Examples of how empathy strengthens each of these domains are listed below:

Administrative Leadership:

Creating schedules that consider staff’s personal obligations
Developing policies that balance program needs with staff wellbeing
Managing resources in ways that show you understand classroom challenges

Pedagogical Leadership:

Supporting teachers’ professional growth with sensitivity to their learning styles
Providing feedback that acknowledges both strengths and areas for growth
Understanding and accounting for different teaching philosophies

Leadership Essentials:

Building trust through consistent empathetic responses
Making decisions that demonstrate care for all stakeholders
Fostering a culture where emotional intelligence is valued

WHAT MAKES EMPATHY A LEADERSHIP STRENGTH?

We hear a lot about qualities like confidence, organization, and decision-making in leadership. But what about the ability to truly understand and connect with those around you? That’s where empathy shines. According to Strength-Based Leadership, the best leaders don’t try to be good at everything—they lean into their natural strengths. If empathy is one of yours, you have an incredible tool to build relationships, boost morale, and create a culture where people thrive. Research shows empathetic leaders:

Recognize and meet their team’s needs. When teachers feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or unsupported, you notice—and you step in with understanding and solutions.
Create a culture of trust. When people feel heard, they feel valued, and that leads to a team that’s more engaged and invested.
Foster collaboration. Empathy helps you navigate conflicts and create an environment where teamwork flourishes.
Make better decisions. Considering different perspectives leads to solutions that truly work for your staff, children, and families.
Reduce burnout. When educators feel seen and supported, they’re more likely to stay in the field and continue making a difference.

FIVE WAYS TO CULTIVATE EMPATHY IN LEADERSHIP

If empathy isn’t one of your strongest traits but you’d like to strengthen this skill, here are some steps to help you develop it.

Listen—really listen. Put down the to-do list and be present in conversations.
Try perspective-taking. Before making a decision, ask yourself how it impacts your teachers and families.
Be open about your own challenges. Vulnerability builds trust and connection.
Support staff well-being. Encourage breaks, check in on emotional health, and offer resources.
Model empathy daily. Your team follows your lead—set the tone with compassion and understanding.

EXAMPLES OF APPLICATION IN EARLY CHILDHOOD SETTINGS

Empathetic qualities can be applied in early childhood programs in the following ways:

Daily Leadership Practices

Start meetings with genuine check-ins
Practice active listening without immediately problem-solving
Take regular walks through classrooms to sense the emotional climate
Keep a reflection journal about team dynamics

Program Development

Create mentorship programs that emphasize emotional intelligence
Develop professional learning communities that support emotional growth
Establish feedback systems that honor all perspectives

Staff Support

Implement regular one-on-one check-ins
Create safe spaces for sharing concerns
Develop emotional intelligence training opportunities
Recognize and celebrate emotional competence

Empathy is not just a leadership trait; it is a transformative strength that enriches early childhood centers. When leaders cultivate empathy, they create an environment where educators, children, and families thrive. By embedding empathy into leadership practices, early childhood directors and coaches can build resilient teams, foster emotional intelligence, and ultimately enhance the quality of early childhood education.

As you reflect on your own leadership journey, consider: How can you use empathy to strengthen your impact today?

REFERENCES

Rath, T., & Conchie, B. (2013). Strengths based leadership: Great leaders, teams, and why people follow. Gallup Press.

Masterson, M., Abel, M., Talan, T., Bella, (2019). Building on whole leadership: Energizing and strengthening your early childhood program. Gryphon House Publishing.

Sipe, J. W., Frick, D. M. (2009). Seven pillars of servant leadership: Practicing the wisdom of leading by serving. Paulist Press.

Paula Steffen, M.A., is the Manager of Quality Supports and Evaluation for the Center for Early Childhood Leadership in the McCormick Institute for Early Childhood at National Louis University. In this role, she serves as a National Anchor for the Program Administration Scale (PAS) and Business Administration Scale for Family Child Care (BAS). Previously she served as a State Assessor conducting assessments using the PAS, BAS, Classroom Assessment Scoring System (CLASS), and Environment Rating Scale (ERS) tools for ExceleRate – Illinois’ Early Childhood Quality Rating and Improvement System. In addition, she was the Illinois State Assessor Anchor for the PAS, BAS, and Infant Toddler Rating Scale (ITERS). Prior to joining McCormick in 2007, Paula was the Professional Development Manager for Illinois Network of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies, co-owned a child care center, and worked as a director and professional development advisor in both Head Start and community college-based programs. Paula holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in family and consumer sciences from Iowa State University and a Masters of Education in early childhood administration from National Louis University.

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My Bookshelf: Titles That Inspire, Inform, and Influence

By Barb Volpe • July 14, 2025

by barb volpe This summer, as I dove into Mindset : The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck, I found myself reflecting on the books that have shaped how I think, lead, coach, and grow—not just as a professional, but as a person. These books have informed how I show up in my work: how I support others, design and facilitate professional learning, and continue to learn myself. So, I thought I’d share what’s on my shelf—the books I’ve read and returned to, and the ones I’m looking forward to next. Maybe one will speak to you, too. Books I’ve Read (or Reread) This Year (These have sparked recent insights or support current work.) The PD book: 7 Habits that Transform Professional Development by Elena Aguilar and Lori Cohen . I love a book that is a perfect blend of the “why” and “how to” for designing transformational professional development. I am a big fan of Elena Aguilar’s books, and this is one of my favorites. Lose the Lecture: Engaging Approaches to Early Childhood Professional Learning by Teresa A. Byington . Another great book with lots of tips and strategies to engage early childhood adult learners. This book is great for those who facilitate (coaches, mentors, early childhood directors, and trainers). It gave me new tools for designing interactive sessions. Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath . A go-to resource on leading change, packed with memorable stories and practical strategies. The ideas of “directing the rider, motivating the elephant, and shaping the path” stuck with me. The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier . This book is approachable, concise, and surprisingly powerful—it offers a way to ask key questions for coaching in your regular routine. Onward: Cultivating the Emotional Resilience in Educators by Elena Aguilar . I found myself returning to this throughout the year. It’s not just a book—it’s a companion through the ups and downs of working in education. Books I Return to Again and Again (These books live close by. They are grounding, uplifting, and continue to offer new insights no matter how many times I read them.) Learning to Listen, Learning to Teach: The Power of Dialogue in Educating Adults by Jane Vella . Every time I revisit this book, I’m reminded of the power of listening and true dialogue in adult learning. A must-read for anyone who facilitates learning. Circle of the Nine Muses: A Storytelling Field Guide for Innovators and Meaning Makers by David Hutchens . A playful and powerful guide to using storytelling in professional settings. I return to it when I want to bring more heart and creativity into facilitation. Inspiring Peak Performance: Competence, Commitment, and Collaboration by Paula Jorde Bloom, Ann Hentschel, and Jill Bella . An excellent guide for leaders aiming to build strong teams. It offers frameworks that feel grounded in real early childhood contexts. Reflecting in Communities of Practice: A Workbook for Early Childhood Educators by Deb Curtis, Debbie Lebo, Wendy C.M. Cividanes, Margie Carter . A hands-on, thoughtful workbook that helps teams go deeper together. The reflection prompts are gold for peer learning teams and coaching. The Art of Awareness: How Observation Can Transform Your Teaching by Deb Curtis and Margie Carter . Reading this feels like an invitation to slow down and truly see children. A beautiful reminder of why observation matters. Leading with Heart and Soul by Toni Christie . A heartfelt book on leadership that blends personal reflection with professional purpose. It speaks to the soul of early childhood leadership. I simply love this book; it brings me back to my “why”. Graceful Leadership in Early Childhood Education by Ann McClain Terrell . This book models leadership that is dignified, values-driven, and relationship-based. It’s like a wise mentor in book form. The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander . This book helps me reframe challenges and step into possibility. It’s equal parts philosophical and practical—a favorite when I need inspiration. Books Waiting for Me (On my “to-be-read” list, each is chosen with curiosity and intention. I’m looking forward to what they will teach me!) Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact by Dan Heath and Chip Heath Joy, Inc.: How We Built a Workplace People Love by Richard Sheridan Small Teaching: Everyday Lessons from the Science of Learning by James M. Lang Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor Respect: An Exploration by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot Exit: The Endings That Set Us Free by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot These books have informed how I lead, learn, and reflect. I share this list not as a prescription, but as an invitation. I’d love to hear what’s on your bookshelf! Here are a few questions to get you thinking: What is a book that shaped your thinking or affirmed your values? Which titles do you return to again and again—and why? What kind of learning or growth are you seeking right now? Is there a book that might support that journey? What book would you recommend to someone stepping into leadership for the first time? Is there a story or quote from a book that has stayed with you? Each time I finish a good book, I feel like something in me has shifted—even if just a little. The stories, ideas, and questions stay with me and often show up in unexpected ways in my work and life. As Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. said, “The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.” I share this list not because I have all the answers, but because these books have helped stretch my thinking—and maybe one or two of them will do the same for you.